Pineapple Blue Area 101

The Mysterious Area 101

Alastair R Agutter (Publisher and Founder) 23rd December 2022

A very warm welcome to the very 'Mysterious and Spooky Area 101' here at Pineapple Blue. And in truth, I hope our Web Surfers, Music Lovers, and Loyal Patrons can work all this out, for at this time, I would rather walk through a mine field. I was always warned of small print, and I myself warned Friends and Folk of the wider-world, to be wary of cryptocurrencies, or is that Kryptonite? And when it comes to these web pages, it may help if you are into conspiracy theories, a member of; MI5, MI6, GCHQ, CIA, 5i's, Web5G, or the FBI, with a warped sense of humour.

Nothing Socially Friendly

I have come to the conclusion today, after two days of total and utter confusion. Social Media web sites, and web pages, are not user friendly environments. Just last week, trying to make some updates on one site, I kept getting messages from Google, "asking if it were me", and towards the end, being threatened with suspension, for not knowing, I had created another six accounts. All I wanted to do was update one Site with a new address after a recent move. It got so bad, I could hear myself saying; "I don't believe it", and by all accounts, a very good impression of Victor Meldrew. However, one positive has been a new book title; "The Happy Gnomes Book of Gardening". #Lol

A Full Time Occupation of Madness

This Social Media updating malarkey is driving me nuts, if I am honest. And taking some real serious time. Sometimes, it's so bad, I find myself falling asleep in the chair, and just about to topple off, the chair to greet the floor with a serious thud.

Today, I have been updating Linkedin for Pineapple Blue (, and found another 4 redundant web pages never used, or setup! And then you look at these web pages when you have finished updating, to think where the hell are they? Do they really exist, for I can never find these web pages, and then

there is the posts! You are always encouraged to write a post on Linkedin, to tell Folk all about what's happening. But yet again, I can never see any of my posts I have written in those particular sections. And whenever I have searched in the posts section in the past, looking for my messages, I can never find them. All I ever see and come across constantly, is Richard Branson with his irritating smiling face, offering something in a random indirect post, promoting something totally bonkers and irrelevant. But hey, what do I know, in a maddening crowd. And so I often ask myself, is it all worth it? Well, if you want some help, or guidance, from any Social Network Platform? Well then you have more chances of being bitten by a Daffodil. And here is where the marathon begins, just trying to find the support sections. Let alone actually finding chat, or the real mother of all and the holy grail, that being a telephone, with a big pointy green flashing arrow, aimed at the telephone's location. And then you have to try and find the telephone number on the web pages, so you can finally speak to a real person, but by this time you feel you need a lay down, and half an hour

I Partly Blame Myself

with your therapist. A-ha! No, I am not referring to a Norwegian Band of the 80's. But I am talking in the terms of A-ha, a brain wave, something has come to me, a light's been turned on. For we have to consider this, and we need to be extremely careful. For we have to ask ourselves, is the person in the chat room, or at the other end of a telephone, that we plan to have a conversation with, or have already entered into an actual conversation, are they real. You see where all this leads too! Next day at work just having an innocent chat in the office with colleagues, about the nightmare you had yesterday online. The next thing, you are being invited down to the Company's Doctor, or Psychiatrist, and being questioned about "how deeply concerned they are, having heard from staff you are talking to computers." But, here's the thing, are these Folk really real, are you sure they are real. Or is it the case, you find yourself trying to hold a conversation with an entity from the world of artificial intelligence, spooky AI. I'm not joking, I'm being really serious,

especially if for once you do come across the rare sight of a chat room, after seeing the big pink, or green arrow flashing, lighting up your room with a siren going off, and pointing to the Holy Grail of a Chatroom. For I know, when I chat these days to the Pharmacist, who supplies my pills, moaning about certain ones that I urgently need, but have not arrived. I know, I know, I know I know, my friend at the other end of the chatroom is; wait for it, drum role...."Not A Real Person!!!"......yes, yes, yes, I have discovered I am talking to a virtual entity, a non existent. No, I am not hearing voices either, the real facts to all of this is; I am talking, or having a chat to something that does not exist! And so I have a confession to make, and I apologize for being partly to blame! A few years back, I wrote a book to help Folk speed up the delivery of web pages to their respective web users and customers. This entailed using a virtual world of computing I discovered, and applied this technology for the job! I explained how you can improve the speed and efficiency of any Company Web Site, this was regarding the transfer of packet data, photon atoms, web pages in other words downloaded, and at about 10 to 20 times faster than before. Even the sub title of the book was; "Taking the World Wide Web to Another Dimension." Oh yes, guilty as charged! Goodness knows what's going to happen next, as I am currently building a Classic Super Computer, as I write up my notes for a new book on Quantum Computing!

The conclusion I am rapidly coming too, if you are running your own business, and know full well as a business, if you wish to successfully sell your wares online, you have to get on the Social Media Band Wagon, and have to seek out these very many quirky Social Media Web Sites and Platforms today! To do the job properly, which entails updating on a daily basis, with snippets of information, pictures, adverts, and promotions. It's without doubt, a full time Job. And not something that can be a halfhearted approach, done in ones spare lunch break, or a couple of hours in the afternoon by yourself, or a member of staff.

Social Media Cultural Street Cred

For another critical aspect to consider is; street credibility. The actual cultural following of each Social Media web site, or platform, regarding the very many different quirky sites, that come with different appeal. A few years ago, "WhatsApp" started to become an emerging success, as a result of the youth generation leaving "Facebook" and joining WhatsApp. And the reason being for the younger Social Media generation, was that Mum, Dad, Aunts and Granny, were now joining Facebook. In other words, Facebook was no longer Cool, with the New Generation Z. And so the Marketing Culture approach to Facebook and WhatsApp, are markedly different. Now, in this field of operations, I

am no expert, and for the record, I have been creating and involved with the World Wide Web since it's Commercial beginning. If you haven't read it yet, Pineapple Blue was one of the World's very first Digital Electronic Media Design Houses. And I don't even know how to get around and work this lot, these being Social Media Sites. And so what chance does a novice have? Be it he, or she, running and owning a Company, or being a dedicated Director of a successful Corporation. Regrettably however, none of those skills will provide the answers and solutions, when it comes to the Social Media Environment, and no amount of conventional marketing skills learned, can prepare you, to be confident enough to protect a brand, or Company image in this environment, if something is innocently said, or done, it's like walking a tightrope.

Don't Trash Your Business

In a couple of years time, Pineapple Blue celebrates 30 years of existence, as a Digital Electronic Media Design House, Publishers, and Record Label. And a very precious entity to me as founder, I am not sexiest in anyway, but I do often find myself calling Pineapple Blue a her. But that is as a term of endearment, meaning so much to me, part of our complex and very parculiar family. And I know from experience, any business worth it's sort, is felt emotionally in a similar way, if successful by other owners, and directors. I know, if I spent all my time on Social Media, I would eventually get a grasp of it, in a marketing media sense. But my dilemma like other business owners is; I have to run a

business, and so I am unable to devote the time required for Social Media development. You could try to get a handle on it, but it could be really costly, in fact it could cost you your business. I know what one of my former bosses would of said to me, even when I was a Marketing Director years ago with him. He would of said, "Don't Faff it Up." And knowing him so well, and as a former Managing Director of IBM Europe, who knew a thing or two. This is exactly what he would be saying to me exactly today, the very same exact words. Why?

Confronting Social Media Reality

The reality with Social Media, and the World Wide Web, but mainly Social Media is; it's so fluid, literally every aspect of it, from Programming, Marketing, Development, to Society and Culture, it's changing every minute of every day, it truly is a phenomena, and at the same time, your worst nightmare, like walking through a minefield.

Going back nearly 30 years to 1994, when we were involved with the Commercial World Wide Web beginning. When Mark Andrresson and Eric Bina cracked it down at NCSA, Champagne, Illinois, USA with the first real functional browser Mosaic, eventually becoming Netscape Communications and the Netscape Navigator Browser Suite. Things began to move fast then, but today with Social Media, Smart Phones, Programming, Apps etc. Technology is running

at lightening speed. And to be a really successful serious player for your Company, or Business, in such an environment, will take Folk like us back then, with the web. Literally, living and breathing it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year! There is no way, you can compete in this game of Social Media if you are a novice or mediocre, as it is just like any other elite sport, or environment, it takes skill and knowledge, and you have to be at the very top of your game, with abundant skills. Otherwise, it will be a complete and utter blow out!

The Social Media Solution

A few years back, again guilty as charged, I wrote a short book and guide to help Folk get their heads around Social Media. The Book was titled "Social Media the Sum of Everything Equals Zero" And as we all learn more about this environment, I am sure we can all concur with the thought that we could burn a ton of business money on advertising, only to be way off, getting it completely wrong! The Book and Guide was about how the geographical landscape was, what will probably happen, and other events to look out for including Government. Well, blow me down, knock me out with a feather. Again all the warnings and concerns I had. Have, or Are coming true now, as we still try to understand this very radical environment. I'm not joking, I went on my mobile today, to try and connect the WhatsApp facility for Desktop, so I can try and get my head around this Frankenstein also. But I must admit, I tried over a dozen times to get working, QR Code etc. But got drowned in adverts, like we use to suffer on the web years ago, with AOL pop ups. It was so bad, constantly trying to get this App to work and talk with my desktop, I had to go and check my bank, as I thought I might of bought something I didn't want, or know about, it's crazy, what's going on!

Early Christmas Present and Solution for Social Media

So what is the solution. Well, I have been seriously thinking about this. And I think we have just a 5 year window as a business to retain an expert. I am convinced the only way to go now, is to retain someone who lives and breaths this environment and really knows their onions. We all know these days regrettably, most Folk lie on CV's, putting my Law School hat on for a few seconds, they commit fraud, to gain a pecuniary advantage, in this instance, getting the job! So we can't rely on the bull shit in the Curriculum Vitae. The other thing we have to consider, is the damage they could do to the business if they are no good. So there is a massive trust aspect to all of this, remember, you will be dishing out passwords for them to gain access, and you don't want the entire network shutdown because your new co-worker believes they should be paid a bonus for xyz, or be paid for the 10 weeks they were off etc.

I say 5 years, because AI (artificial Intelligence) are making great strides, and these virtual entities that the Guys and Gales are creating, will be data rich to fight fire with fire. That's what I would do in a few years time. I would have an AI entity, marketing on Social Media, for I believe the entities will be equipped enough to do the job, and very well.

So what do you do in the interim. Well, I've been thinking about this, and I think it needs to be incentive driven. I will give you an example, as I have decided to advertise the Job next week. If they are that good, they will take up my offer. The deal I will do with them is; every one of my books that they sell across all the Social Media Sites, I will give them half of my book royalties, as just one example. This way it is performance and incentive driven. So if they sell a 1,000, 10,000 to a 100,000 books a month, I don't care, I will honour my deal and split the commission 50/50%, I can't be any fairer than that. So if they are that good, so they tell me on their CV, over the phone etc, or conference call, as I don't care what part of the world they come from, I will honour the deal, as I believe in a global society. They could even sell a million books, it doesn't matter, they will all get printed and distributed, for my nuclear option as a publisher is, we are partners with Amazon, who print, and distribute world-wide my paperbacks and hardbacks. Digital is even easier, that's instant on a download through us, Pineapple Blue and 3 other major players including Amazon and Apple!

Alastair R Agutter (Publisher and Founder) 23rd December 2022

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